Secret Keeper

Secret Keeper by Kathryn Cloward

Be a good little girl don’t tell anyone
It’ll be our little secret just me and you having fun
Hidden in my closet that’s where he’d play
Why didn’t anyone notice it was the middle of the day
So I held it all inside and cried on my own
There was no one I could tell I felt so alone
I felt so alone

I’m a secret keeper I compartmentalize
I keep moving forward as I dry my eyes
I’m a secret keeper it’s a lonely road
Hiding what is true is a heavy load

Thirty years later that little girl is me
I grew up to live the life a script followed carefully
But all along the way over and over again
I found myself living the same pattern
Secrets I held for others and some I created
Deception and hiding are a lonely prison
A lonely prison

I’m a secret keeper yearning to be free
The cry of my spirit needs trust and safety
I’m a secret keeper but I don’t want to be
Will this ever go away I don’t want it to define me

Healing and forgiveness gave me freedom at last
Secrets no longer harness me to my past
Then I met a man who wanted me to be
All for himself but our love hidden in secrecy
It didn’t feel right like a wool coat in summer’s heat
I wouldn’t be the secret he wanted me to keep
No I wouldn’t be

I’m not a secret keeper I won’t compartmentalize
I’ll keep moving forward even with tears in my eyes
I’m not a secret keeper it’s a beautiful road
I’ll never hide again what’s not healthy to hold
I’m not a secret keeper I’ve set myself free
My spirit’s finally soaring ‘cuz I chose to love me
I’m not a secret keeper that little girl in me
Is living the simple life in peace and honesty
Yes in peace and honesty

**********