Guitar Girl Magazine

Kathryn Cloward Native San Diegan Downtown Concert in the Park

23 Dec 2023

DRIVE Your Music Career

Guitar Girl Magazine Winter 2023 Kathryn Cloward

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Winter 2023 Issue

DRIVE Your Music Career

Empower Yourself with Determination, Resilience, Independence, Velocity, and Enthusiasm

Do you remember how it felt to get your driver’s license and be able to drive on your own to the places you needed and wanted to be? I do. I couldn’t wait to drive because that meant I’d no longer need to bum rides off my teammates after soccer and softball practices or ask my friend, Earl, to pick me up for school since he lived around the corner from me. My parents were working outside the home and since I was the fourth of four siblings, Mom and Dad were ready for me to drive the moment I was able to do so legally.

I was determined to get my license. I took driver’s training with my boyfriend Jeremy at the local driving school. Then, since my parents only had stick-shift cars, I borrowed my friend Kim’s automatic car to take my driver’s test. I was delirious with joy when I passed and got my license.

Once I was able to drive, I paid it forward and gave my younger teammates rides home when they needed them. I felt empowered by the independence of driving. I didn’t abuse the privilege and knew that to keep driving I needed to pay part of my way, hence I scooped cones at Baskin-Robbins and then took pizza orders at Mona Lisa’s Italian Restaurant. It was only because of my ability to drive that I was able to try out different places to work before finishing high school.

A few months ago, my son got his driver’s license. I was eager to empower Landon with the same sense of independence and freedom I experienced. He earned it and he’s rocking his junior year in all areas while driving his red truck to school every day. Encouraging him with the independence to drive was an act of pure love and it was another motherhood bridge I crossed because as he was experiencing a new beginning, it was the ending of 16 years of my schedule no longer revolving around where he needed to be and when. That shift created some levels of new for me too.

This morning, after I watched Landon drive off to school, I sat down to write this article. My mind drifted from reflecting on driving a vehicle to the inner drive I needed to be able to manifest the reality I wanted for my life. We are often so focused on the road ahead that we only glance in the rearview mirror of our lives for a moment. But in looking at the whole journey, what’s been essential for me to manifest my unique career in the music industry has been a long road paved with DRIVE: determination, resilience, independence, velocity, and enthusiasm.

In today’s music industry, female-identified musicians, guitar players, songwriters, producers, and executives continue to break barriers and shatter stereotypes, making their mark and leaving a lasting impact. Here are five key empowering qualities that are the driving force for taking charge of your music career and creating a lasting legacy.

D for Determined

Determination is the cornerstone of your music career. It’s the unwavering commitment to your craft that fuels progress. It’s essential to set clear goals and remain focused on working toward them, even when encountering obstacles and setbacks. Determination is the fuel that energizes your inner drive to remain focused on goal-achieving and dream-living. Even in times when encountering naysayers or challenges, your inner determination will help ensure those are merely bumps on the road and not detours.

R for Resilience

Resilience is a word thrown around a lot but I can’t stress enough how cultivating a solid inner source of resilience is for the long haul. Every music professional faces rejection and setbacks but how you bounce back matters most. Embrace your unique voice and talent, and know your resilience will help you persevere through difficult times. Each obstacle is an opportunity for growth; resilience keeps your music playing, no matter what.

I for Independence

Independence in music is about self-discovery, self-expression, and self-reliance. Many of you are forging your path, just as many of your trailblazing mentors and sheroes did before you. Trusting your instincts and not being afraid to challenge the status quo are fuel for energizing your career. Independence allows you to explore uncharted territories and create groundbreaking music that reflects your authentic self.

V for Velocity

While I could have gone with vibe on this one, velocity is what came to mind first and it fits. Velocity, or speed, represents the urgency of making progress in your career. While I am chill in many ways and don’t crowd my life with unnecessary commitments or social engagements, I foster the speed and endurance of a thoroughbred—which suits me much better than operating at sloth speed. In the fast-paced music industry, being proactive is crucial. Striving to gain momentum and securing opportunities requires you to be alert, quick, and receptive all while keeping the creative energy flowing, releasing new music, and connecting regularly with your network. With velocity, your music career can take off at an exhilarating pace.

E for Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is the fuel that ignites passion and creativity. Enthusiasm is contagious! I love being around enthusiastic people. It’s the joy of creating music that drives you forward. It’s the infectious energy that draws fans in and keeps them engaged. Embracing and continuing to cultivate enthusiasm with your music will continue to inspire more momentum for driving your musical journey forward.

I love a good acrostic and DRIVE encapsulates the essential qualities for taking charge of your career and driving your passion forward. Determination, resilience, independence, velocity, and enthusiasm form the foundation upon which long-term endurance in the music business is built. By embracing these DRIVE qualities, you will undoubtedly overcome obstacles, cultivate your unique gift, and leave a lasting impact on the music industry.

As you navigate your journey in music, remember to DRIVE forward with unwavering determination, resilience in the face of challenges, independence to define your path, the velocity to keep your career progressing, and the enthusiasm that keeps your music alive. Embrace the power of DRIVE, and let it guide you toward a successful and fulfilling career in music, where your voice, talent, and passion shine through, inspiring others to follow in your footsteps.

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2 Oct 2023

Be Bold and Brave: It’s Up to You

Kathryn Cloward in Guitar Girl Magazin Fall 2023

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Fall 2023 Issue

Be Bold and Brave: It’s Up to You

by Kathryn Cloward

Lately, I’ve noticed in conversations I’m segmenting life as before or after COVID. For example, if I’m telling a story, I will say, “Before COVID, I…” Or I will say, “Since COVID, I …” Do you find yourself doing the same? The pandemic was such a strange time for us all. Yet I think many agree it was a period of tremendous transformation and it provided clarity for what mattered most moving forward with our lives.

For those of us in the music industry, we experienced just how fragile aspects of our business can be when the live show and in-studio recording components were taken off the table. Yet the great shift didn’t hold us down for long. We morphed. The creative mind is a relentless innovator and soon we collectively tuned our guitars into a new normal. Some of us hunkered down and wrote songs like crazy. Some of us used the power of technology to discover musicians could produce a tremendous amount of music without ever leaving our living space. Some of us needed a complete reset and decided to take our careers down a different path. All in all, that period of time allowed us to see what we were made of. It forced us to get to the raw and real truth of who we are now and what we want next.

This time helped me reaffirm that I’m steady and strong even when standing in the eye of a hurricane of change. It confirmed that the energy source and continuity of creativity, discipline, and focus was and always will be flowing through me regardless of any external circumstances. The only determining factor in whether or not I am actively making music and writing new songs is me. The responsibility for writing, creating, and producing was on me. Getting myself into the rooms I want to be in was on me. This has been the case for my entire career in business spanning over two decades. But for some reason, I needed the benefit of a forced break to reaffirm what I’ve always known. It’s up to me. Regardless of what is happening around me or who is with me, being fully open and receptive to doing what I am here to do is my responsibility.

Just the same, it’s up to you. You are strong. You are here to do important things. You have a gift that is meant to be shared with the world.

Yet I know we sometimes find ourselves whipping around in the storm and need to get back to our center. In a world that often demands conformity, female-identified individuals in the music industry are proving themselves by being bolder and braver. We are standing and shining testaments to the power of creativity, bravery, and integrity. We are making our unique presence known and paving the way for others with unwavering spirit and determination. Here are five essential reminders for continuing to encapsulate the essence of being brave, creatively bold, and self-loving; upholding integrity; and helping others.

1. Be Brave
Embracing bravery requires stepping out of our comfort zone even when fear and uncertainty attempt to hold us back. Just like when we are about to step onto the stage of our grandest performance, taking a deep breath and reminding ourselves that authentic vulnerability is our greatest strength will help us align ourselves in courage. It’s in our moments of authenticity that we cultivate genuine connections and inspire others to do the same.

2. Be Creatively Bold
Creativity knows no bounds, and within the music industry, women have shattered stereotypes and pushed boundaries with their artistic expressions. Look to trailblazers who have inspired us along the way—those who didn’t follow any formula but rather turned up the dial of nonconformity to become beacons of originality. Remember that embracing our unique creativity can be a powerful catalyst for change. Let creativity flow freely, for it’s through bold artistic choices that we have the opportunity to create lasting impact.

3. Practice Self-Love
Being in the music industry and braving creative expression is often met with external criticism that can at times create internal self-doubt. Like a badge of honor worn by every creative, accept and know that people have an opinion about what we are doing and how we are doing it. But the only opinion that truly matters is our own. While it’s wise and self-loving to sift through constructive feedback and accept what is helpful, it’s also wise and self-loving to release and repel everything that doesn’t serve us. Cultivating self-compassion, treating ourselves with kindness, and being our own biggest supporter is a trifecta of self-love. Nurturing and loving ourselves and keeping our energy clear helps us navigate this industry. Shine brightly as a guiding light for others seeking their path.

4. Uphold Integrity
Integrity is all about alignment. When what we say and what we do align, we are in integrity. As a compass navigates us to align with the true north, upholding values and principles ensures our art remains an authentic reflection of our soul. Whether we’re composing a song or negotiating a contract, our integrity is the foundation upon which we build our life’s legacy.

5. Help Others
While some aspects of our creative lives are solo expeditions, the vast majority of our work in the music industry is about community. Lending a hand to others, offering support, mentoring, encouraging, and supporting others helps everyone. Collaboration not only elevates our own artistry but also fosters an environment of growth and empowerment for everyone around us.

The music industry is a vibrant tapestry woven together by the courage, creativity, self-love, integrity, and kindness of inspiring individuals. With creativity, determination, and focus, continue moving forward manifesting music that reflects vibrant, authentic you.

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1 Jul 2022

Let’s Talk About Self-Love, Baby

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Summer 2022 Issue

Let’s Talk About Self-Love, Baby

by Kathryn Cloward

Self-love is the key to living our true vibrancy. Love yourself so much that you naturally ripple love and light in every moment you breathe and others will either be attracted to you or repelled by you depending on where they are on their journey of self-love.

I originally wrote and published a longer version of this piece in 2011. I decided to share it with Guitar Girl readers because in the last three days I’ve had conversations with three women who were working through some aspects of self-love and worthiness while doing their best to shift away from the patterns of subtle (and overt) control former partners had over them and their self-worth. I’ve lived the unraveling of the narcissist’s controlling and deceptive narrative; I have a song coming out about it soon. But for now, it’s about self-love, baby.

Cabbage Patch Kid Craze

When I was growing up and the Cabbage Patch Kid craze hit, it was on! My mom never allowed me to have Barbie dolls because she didn’t like the image Barbie portrayed, but I wasn’t going to be out of the loop with this one. I used all my best persuasive tactics in hopes of talking my mom into buying me one of the overpriced, hard-to-find Cabbage Patch Kids.

One day my mom came home with a surprise for me. Opening up a large bag, I could see the top of what was sure to be my very own Cabbage Patch Kid. I was so excited! But when I pulled the doll out of the bag, my excitement turned into sheer panic.

What the heck was this? This doll was not a Cabbage Patch Kid. It was a fake Cabbage Patch Kid. You know, like a fake Coach purse that has the word Cache on it.

Holding the impostor doll with complete annoyance, I said to my mom, “This isn’t a Cabbage Patch Kid.”

She said, “I know! It’s better than a Cabbage Patch Kid. A woman at church made it. Now you have your own special one-of-a-kind Cabbage Patch Kid.”

What the heck was up with my mom?! Did she not understand the complete social torture I’d endure when showing up to the next slumber party with a fake Cabbage Patch Kid. I was panicked!

In my mom’s defense, I know she was completely well-intentioned. Never being one to follow fads, mom thought this special handmade doll would be unique and I’d treasure “her” as I did all the other dolls I owned. Nope! I didn’t like the fake Cabbage Patch Kid, and I never even named her.

Fake Cabbage Patch Kid and My Son

Fast forward about 30 years.

One day when I was picking my five-year-old son up from my parents’ house, he was excited about something he’d be bringing home with him. He stood in front of me with his arms outstretched and a huge smile on his face and said, “See mommy! My new girl.”

In his hands he was holding my old, rejected, impostor, no-name, fake Cabbage Patch Kid. Seriously! My eyes widened. I immediately looked at my mom. Seeing her massive grin, we both busted up laughing. This was pure bliss for her. Mom’s sentimental saving had paid off and she was swirling in absolute pleasure of watching my son fall in love with the doll I resented so much as a child.

Self-Love in Sedona

A few months ago, I sat by myself looking out at the magnificence that is Sedona. It was a Saturday morning; I had just finished writing in my journal and was sitting in meditation on a rock overlooking the desert landscape. I felt clear and centered—and I experienced a major aha moment about self-love by way of my son and the fake Cabbage Patch Kid.

One of the greatest lessons I’m learning in my life is self-love. True authentic self-love. The kind of love that’s found from within that’s pure, real, accepting and nurturing.

And as I sat thinking of how much was I really loving myself lately, I couldn’t help but allow my mind to think of my son. It’s in my relationship with him that I’ve learned what it feels like to give and receive pure love.

My mind flashed through a sequence of tender moments with my son, including the way it felt when I held him for the first time, skin to skin, as I lay in a hospital bed experiencing one of the most unforgettably tender moments of my life. Then my mind went to an afternoon when we played in his room with the fake Cabbage Patch Kid and how my son held the doll close and said, “This is my baby.” And I held him across my lap and said, “This is my baby.”

This is my baby.

In that moment, I recalled my journey into motherhood and how I wondered if I’d be a good mom. Never one to really enjoy babysitting, I carried a bit of self-doubt about motherhood at times during my pregnancy, wondering if I’d be a natural mom or if I’d struggle with adjusting to caring for my baby.

But as it turns out, I was a natural. From the moment I first held him in the hospital room, I knew intuitively how to be gentle with my son. I knew how to care for my son. I knew how to nurture my son. I knew how to love my son.

This is my baby.

And while I sat on a rock in Sedona, with that sequence of memories of my son flashing through my head, it came to me. What if I was the infant child? What if I held myself in the same tender and loving manner as I did my infant son? What if I thought only loving thoughts about myself? What if I loved myself with the same pureness I do for my son?

What if self-love all boils down to holding ourselves and loving ourselves as an infant?

For me, all I needed to do was connect those dots for the reality of the lesson to sink in. I know how to love. I know how to be tender. I know how to be nurturing.

I am love.

I am tender.

I am nurturing.

So in times when I find myself getting off track and spinning into a space that’s not filled with self-love, I imagine myself holding infant Kathryn gently and immediately tune into what she needs. Sometimes the biggest lessons are learned with simple answers.

This is my baby.

So in those times when you feel like you have a fake Cabbage Patch Kid and are crumbling from the pressure around you, when you beat yourself up for a decision you aren’t proud of, you compare yourself to someone else or you allow the record of self-deprecation to play in your head—what if your mind flashed to seeing yourself as an infant and with gentle, loving tenderness infused with pure self-love, you said, “This is my baby.”

Guitar Girl Magazine Kathryn Cloward Summer 2022

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4 Apr 2022

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Spring 2022 Issue

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

by Kathryn Cloward

In the mid-1980s, Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” song was the leading fun-infused anthem of empowerment for girls and women. The joyful song’s catchy lyrics and upbeat tempo were a bubble-gum pop way of acknowledging our collective desire for experiencing the simplicity of just having fun. Cyndi sang it and we all wanted it. FUN.

Taking it one beat further, long before Sarah Jessica Parker breathed life into Carrie Bradshaw as the lead woman-in-process character for the “Sex in the City” franchise, she led a cast of characters in the 1985 movie, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Its premise was centered on the main character’s journey of experiencing personal freedom through dancing. This was symbolically reinforced in the film as she transformed from being contained in a buttoned-up conservative school uniform to dancing her heart out on stage with her friends in ultra ‘80s fashion, a collection that has largely looped around to being currently fashionable again.

In the movie, the teen lead character’s transformation wasn’t just about emerging from the containment we see from her outer appearance but also manifested by what was going on within her. Her coming of age realization included having to stand up for her right to experience her journey of joy, which was more expressive and exposed than the framing of her father’s will for her life. Wrapping a bow of feel-good completion on this coming-of-age film, we get to see the main character bopping across the stage to the beat of her inner rhythm of being free and having fun.

This movie is decades old but the premise has been repeated time and time again. The narrative continues to be recycled with fresh new starlets amplifying the messages of another generation’s collective desire to break out of the containment of societal and/or familiar standards to experience the ultimate feeling of freedom of self. Why does this story continue to resonate? In my opinion, it’s because we can’t possibly absorb enough reminders of our birthright to experience the uncontained feel-good empowerment of joy—the simplicity of just having fun.

But honestly, how often is “fun” our focus point and guiding force? I hope after you read this, the feeling of fun and joyfulness gets pushed to the top of your goal board, manifestation chart, mantra wheel, or whatever it is that keeps you on target for feeling the enjoyment of creating and performing music. The carefree soul-shining joy that got you to harmonize with the vibrations of musical goodness in the first place needs to be front and center.

I can speak from experience about this no-fun zone because I lost my fun focus for a long, long time. It took a moment of clarity 13 years ago to wake me up from my dutiful daze and start having fun again on this joyful adventure we call life. My friend Jennifer Harris and I were standing in front of a karaoke club with a few other friends the night we gathered to celebrate her sister Allison’s birthday. Most of our group was inside starting to escalate the evening into some serious sing-along fun and the sidewalk chat was directed at me to encourage me to get up there and sing. But all their encouragement, their “come on and sing, Kat” pom-pom pushing, left me in a self-deprecating, serious mode.

“No, I don’t want to sing.”

“I don’t sing anymore.”

“I’m not good.”

Blah blah blah of the script I had convinced myself when I turned down the fun dial to zero. I was feeling blah. To give me grace, I was separated at the time and within a week it would be crystal clear to me that it was time to move on from my marriage.

So, as they tried to coax me up to the karaoke bar stage, and I was deflecting with an I suck script, Jennifer wasn’t having it. In a matter of fact, get over yourself manner, she said, “This isn’t American Idol, Kat. It’s karaoke. Just have fun with it.”

Just have fun with it.

Like a blast of loving energy, Jennifer’s “just have fun with it” activated me to get the heck over myself and get back to things being fun—starting that night. I walked back into the club, put my name on the list, and the next thing you know I was dialed-up in full-on FUN mode.

While that was more than a decade ago, Jennifer’s five words still ring in my head. Just have fun with it. It’s a meter gauge for me. I even changed my language a few years ago from saying “hard work” to “fun work” about all professional decisions I make. And yes, it’s fun to be super focused and detailed to the max manifesting art and building a company. Creating something that didn’t exist before it was planted as an idea in your mind is mega fun!

The last decade of my life has been all about rediscovering my fun. Rediscovering me and that energy of a little girl who used to love to write songs and sing for her audience of dolls and stuffed animals. The vibration of fun that I knew then got edited out of the story. My life had become like that conservative school girl uniform—buttoned-up, contained, framed within someone else’s expectation. My womanhood had become all about meeting everyone else’s needs.

The refocusing on fun helped me realize that no matter my age, the little girl within me was yearning for expression and freedom. She deserved it. She was worthy of it! The little girl within just wanted to have fun. She materialized first in my children’s books as a little girl me, as Kathryn the Grape, my childhood nickname. Without attachment to the ego of being an “author” or any expectation of popularity, I started writing because I was being woken up every morning by a voice within to “get up and start writing Kathryn the Grape”’ and that’s what I did.

As I started creating and writing, my purpose gained clarity. I wanted to help children have the tools of self-love I wish I had as a child. I wanted to provide adults nuggets of self-loving goodness for themselves, too, as I had been acquiring for myself. That’s where it all started for me. Love is the heart center of everything I do. This creative journey has been 100% about cultivating sustainable self-love within to be able to authentically ripple love to others without attachment or expectation. It was in the writing and clarity that I discovered my inner “grapeness” of love—the love that was always inside me—and the little girl me and the grown woman me aligned with the fun me.

What I learned is invaluable: self-love is the golden ticket to the mega-fun zone of life!

How do I know this? Because I’ve lived it. I’ve lived the polarity of life and I can tell you with 100% certainty that the way to get back to you is by way of healing and transforming, believing and manifesting, and sharing and expanding. Life is a joyful adventure. It’s no coincidence that the seventh book in my seven-book Kathryn the Grape Affirmation Series has “joyful adventure” in the title.

Fast forward and my joyful adventure has materialized into many books and many songs, and the pure soul-shining fun of performing here and there. The first time I headlined a major ticketed show was at the Belly Up in Solana Beach in January 2017. There I was, eight years after standing outside of a karaoke bar, singing and playing my guitar center stage with songs I wrote, funded, and owned—the result of many decisions focused on fun and fulfillment as my professional path was finally in alignment with my natural vibrancy. It was a dream-living night for me that was the materialization of so many years of self-doubt replaced with self-love.

That night I sang my heart out and as I looked out at the crowd, there was Jennifer Harris—my karaoke club encourager—dancing and singing along as I just had fun with it.

May you focus on fun as you continue on your joyful adventure of life. Girl, just have fun with it.

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19 Dec 2021

Rise and Shine Feminine Divine

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Winter 2021 Issue

Rise & Shine Feminine Divine

By Kathryn Cloward

About 13 years ago, I felt dim. I had become a dialed-down version of myself. This reduction in radiance benefited many people who were close to me at the time. While my natural vibrancy had manifested the trove of our material world, I had become conditioned to maintain a lowered level of illumination so I would not stand out; not emasculate anyone; not be too much; and most clearly relevant, not shine too brightly. In fact, the dimmer the better.

I wasn’t even aware when this was happening or when I’d arrived at my lowest dialed down level one dim. It was slow and subtle. I had grown accustomed to my less vibrant new normal. My role wasn’t to be seen but rather to submit. To sit at the table but not be heard. I was accepted that way. It was expected of me.

It didn’t matter when I closed massive deals that secured our livelihood or handled the ever-mounting tasks necessary to keep things flowing. No. I was meant to have the table set, the chicken slow-cooked, and the laundry put away because, well, others before me did it that way. Be powerful and independent, but not too powerful or too independent anymore because that makes everyone else feel less. Be less for everyone else to feel more.

You’d think the people closest to me would have been my cheerleaders and supporters, but they did quite the opposite. I was put down and teased at gatherings in front of other people. Teasing is a behavior trait many narcissists have written into their script of charm; they experience self-elevation within a socially acceptable framework of being funny at someone else’s expense. It’s not funny. It’s cruel.

Energized by others laughing along, they’d shine as my dimmed light was canopied by their slick cruelty. This became a standard operating procedure at gatherings. I would take it and even laugh along because that was the way I kept the peace. I had already learned that to stand up for myself and say how much I don’t like being teased was met with dismissive statements like:

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“Relax. You can’t take a joke.”

Too sensitive, overreacting, high-strung me learned to smile and not say a word. It was a game of charades; I didn’t speak up for myself. I used to think I was doing the right thing being such a dutiful peacekeeper. But in time, I discovered that being a peacekeeper is often synonymous with being a silence-keeper. And the truth of all truths is this—when you’re silent, they control the narrative, and therein lies their power over you.

There were times when I’d reach my limit and the pain within erupted out of me like a volcano’s flaming hot lava. To further amplify their light-dimming plight of submission, that eruption would be met with statements like: “You are too emotional.” “You’re crazy.” “There you are. Everyone needs to see this Kathryn because you’re not so great.”

I was gaslit back into level one dim.

Dull and dimmed, in my quiet space I’d wonder what the hell happened to me and vibrancy. Where did my shine go? How did I become the problem of every problem, the issue of every issue, and the scapegoat of every drama? I recall a scene from the movie of “Hope Floats,” when Sandra Bullock’s character was at her dimmest moment and said to her daughter, “Once upon a time your mama knew what it meant to shine.” Me, too.

One day with a starburst of recognition radiating from within me, I wasn’t going to allow this crap to go on anymore in my life—not in my personal relationships and in my business dealings. Yes, that’s right, this dimming had carried over into my business affairs, too. In my cooperative approach to energizing projects, I had elevated others above myself and remained quiet to be professional when others took credit for my results.

I was tired of my own lack of boundaries. I was tired of remaining quiet. I was tired of others controlling any aspect of my shine. I was tired of repeating this pattern I had been conditioned to expect. Raising myself up from caverns of my own being, I walked up the steps, stood at the top of the stairway and declared, “No more!”

The dimming of Kathryn was over. I was taking back control of my own vibrancy!

In time, I renewed myself with clean energy and the dial was turned back up to full vibrancy.

I recall writing a blog post around that time titled, “I Am Not Beige,” because every wall in my home had been painted beige. Why not? It’s practical. It goes with everything. Beige is essential for a chameleon’s color palette. My being beige allowed me to fit in with everyone and everything. My beige home was clearly the outward manifestation of the chameleon I had become.

But I didn’t want to be duller, dimmer, go with everyone else Kathryn. No. I just wanted to be fully vibrant free-spirited me.

I wasn’t just a throw pillow’s splash of color or colors peeking out from a shaggy accent rug. No! I was bold crimson red walls and an entire sanctuary room of regal purple. I was a rainbow of luminous light, unfiltered and free. Cocooned through transformation from being dull and dim to emerging with a full-spectrum of radiance, with my wings out and my shine on, I felt free to be vibrant me.

As I became more and more comfortable as a luminous being, I started paying less attention to anything or anyone that served to dim my shine. Instead, I wanted to keep learning more to help me sustain the feeling of truly shining and for me, that shine comes from creating. I am a writer of songs and stories. I feel most me when I’m fluttering with crafting words and melodies. It’s fun for me! The more I channel and create, the more I feel my light is being of service to others but never canopied, never dulled, and always replenished with natural divine energy.

I share this story because perhaps at times in your life you’ve felt dim and dull. Perhaps that’s how you’re feeling now. Take back your power, for it’s always been within you. You’re your own energy source. You are naturally vibrant and luminous. It’s your birthright. Rise and shine your feminine divine.

I invite you to listen to my new “Feminine Divine” song as it was greatly inspired by the process I share in this article.

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4 Oct 2021

Come to My Window

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Fall 2021 Issue

Come to My Window

by Kathryn Cloward

When Guitar Girl Magazine publisher Tara Low told me Melissa Etheridge was going to be on the cover of this issue, my mind immediately bolted to the melody of her hit song, “Come To My Window.” Then, as the next few days went by, every time I thought about what I wanted to write for this article, I found myself singing her lyrics, “Come to my window. Crawl inside. Wait by the light of the moon. Come to my window. I’ll be home soon.”

During one of those vocal sequences, I had a beautiful light bulb aha moment, realizing the concept of “my window” was what I was sitting with most. I envisioned my window like a portal to my truth, my being, and wondered what someone else was seeing and experiencing with access to that portal. And more importantly to my wandering mind, what was I willing to show them? What am I willing to show you? Am I even open to the idea of allowing you the opportunity to come inside and actually know me?

Sidebar for a moment. Yes, I am aware that the iconic love song’s lyrical story was more about a lover coming over and experiencing the freedom of that love. Yet isn’t that the beauty of a song’s artistry? You can listen to a song a thousand times and hear something different each time, extracting meaning and symbolism for your own journey within the resonance. It can be by way of feeling the whole song or having a billboard size aha moment with one captivating lyrical line—all of which can certainly shift and reshape as time goes on.

Instead of attaching myself to the resonance of a lover’s meaning at this phase of my journey, the melody of “Come To My Window” has my mind streaming with the awareness that I am at a new phase of my life. I’m in renewal of deeper discernment about what truly being seen feels like to me and what feels safe and not safe.

We are in hyper-exposed times. Social media has connected us to one another and also created an interesting portal into what matters most to people—or what we perceive to be so based on what’s presented. To each their own, as I have found social media to be an interesting experiment.

My truth is that I am a really private person. But I wasn’t always so private. I used to publicly process a lot on social media and that wasn’t always so wise. But I had to learn. I got burned and burned myself a few too many times and realized, damn girl, shut that door, close that window—CLOSE THE CURTAINS—and get back to honoring your privacy again.

I remember about nine years ago, I was writing a book about my life when I came to a very clear awareness that I did not want those stories to be the stories I was telling for the next ten years. I knew I had more life to live and more wisdom to gain, and that moment in time was NOT the version of me I wanted to cement in print. That was not the window I wanted to be open for all to see, so I stopped writing the long-winded explanation of me and shut it all down.

That’s when writing songs starting stirring within me again, after many years of that creative portal being closed. And soon I came to realize that songwriting is my window.

Through songwriting, I invite you into my world—into my inner being. My heart and life experiences are revealed in a tapestry of wordplay. Through songwriting, I am open.

Through songwriting, I invite you to come to my window and see me. And perhaps within that invitation is an opportunity for reflection—to see yourself, too. The portal of opening up to feeling music and hearing lyrical stories allows us an opportunity to experience resonance with each other and while we are all different, some experiences and feelings align.

There is a window invitation awaiting all of us—an offering of our being to the world if we are willing to be open to it. I think that’s what we’ve gained over the years through Melissa Etheridge’s musical journey. She’s given us windows to see her and to see ourselves. The window of watching her own the stage with her guitar. The window of hearing her soulful empowerment revealed with lyrical power. The window of watching a woman in her own process be open, daring, and vulnerable. The window perhaps we all needed to see what was possible for ourselves to know we, too, could rock the stage of our lives.

None of us have the same vantage point, for we all experience and perceive from our own awareness. Yet when we open up the window of our being and share with others, whatever we are willing to share, it is through that opening of being seen that we connect deeper to ourselves.

What’s your window?

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1 Jul 2021

Let Them Lead

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CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Summer 2021 Issue

Let Them Lead

Kathryn Cloward

About six years ago, I attended a Jackson Browne concert. It was a sold-out show. My dear friend and bandmate, Barry Rosenbaum, invited me. Barry was a huge fan of Jackson and he thought it would be inspiring for me to experience a live performance by such a masterful and seasoned artist. Prior to the concert, Barry provided me with a thorough point-by-point tutorial of Jackson’s career accompanied by all his CDs. I only knew Jackson’s popular songs, including the timeless and memorable “Somebody’s Baby” track featured in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

It became clear to me right away that Barry was correct. Jackson’s concert was hugely impactful to me in so many ways. At that time, I was just embarking on performing my newly released original songs and leading a full band. I had a lot to learn. An eager student, I paid particular attention to how others performed.

One thing I learned from Jackson that night was how to honor musicians with their solos and be intentional about letting others lead. While Jackson was clearly the leader of his own music, when a song had a musical break that was instrumentally led by one of the other musicians in his band, he would step back from the microphone and turn his body to focus his attention on that leading musician. In doing so, he led the audience’s attention to that featured performance, too. It was noticeably fascinating to me to see how fluid and classy his movements were in shifting focus to someone else leading—which to me are characteristics of a seasoned, confident, and humble leader.

I knew I aspired to be like him in my shows. Watching him letting others lead and be in the spotlight was my big takeaway from that concert. It also seeded a respectfully deep resonance with Jackson’s passion for writing impact songs that defy commercial templates. I have a Jackson Browne playlist often streaming in my home—which also helps me remember my late dear friend Barry, who was responsible for this musical introduction.

A few months after that memorable show, I attended a concert with my son that featured a well-known local artist. While I enjoyed the songs and the synergy of the band of musicians, I didn’t enjoy how polar opposite the lead singer was from Jackson in regard to sharing the spotlight and letting others have their leads. It was so noticeable to me and imprinted as something I’d never do. Whenever there was an instrumental part of the song led by one of the musicians, the lead singer continued to dance and express herself with rather big, attention-getting moves that distracted attention from the leading musician—so much so that I noticed it song after song. For me, it was a distraction, not entertaining, so needless to say, the performance didn’t resonate with me. In my observation, the lead singer didn’t have an easy time within herself allowing the spotlight to be on anyone else—something I never wanted to emulate.

In reflection, I needed to experience this polarity in performances in a relatively short period of time to help me shape what I would and wouldn’t do in my shows. Yes, everyone has a different stage presence and desires for their show, and for me I knew it would always be important to be willing to shine the light on others and let them lead as appropriate. I learned early in my career in business that it doesn’t take anything away from you to help others shine. I’d rather be a torch-lighter for someone else to shine than the keeper of light.

This was apparent a few years ago, when I headlined a major event benefiting an international charity. A woman came up to me and said, “Wow, Kathryn. You are so not a diva.” Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?”

She responded, “Most performers would never let someone as talented as Megan sing lead vocals during their own show.” What she was referencing was my willingness to have Megan Nguyen, my band’s keyboard player and backing vocalist, be the lead singer on a few songs, while I did backup vocals. Now this didn’t seem bizarre to me. It took nothing away from me to allow Megan to shine. I am not threatened by her shining. My music will continue moving forward no matter what because I am energizing my own career.

I do think it’s important to point out that Megan is gracious and loyal. Not everyone is, and I don’t work with people who don’t demonstrate integrity.

So, I say to you, if you’re the leader, be a torch-lighter. Let others lead. If you’re part of the team, work with leaders who are torch-lighters and let others lead. What better way to light up the world with love and live in harmony than to let our music lead the way of setting the stage for unity.

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11 Mar 2021

Sheroes: Let Your Music Be Your Story

Guitar-Girl-Magazine-Kathryn-Cloward-Spring-2021

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Spring 2021 Issue

Sheroes – Let Your Music Be Your Story

Kathryn Cloward

When I was a little girl, the first albums I got were The Go-Go’s “Beauty and the Beat” and “Vacation.” I loved the Go-Go’s. Their lyrics were catchy and the cadence of the music kept me dancing around in my room for hours as I played their songs over and over.

“Vacation” was my favorite song when I was growing up. When I was a junior in high school, we had a hypnotist come to our school for a fundraiser and I was one of the students who got hypnotized. With zero inhibitions, I sang some of the “Vacation” lyrics for the entire student body, which in hindsight was a disaster vocally. But the point is, when the moment came in my life to select a song to sing while in the state of hypnosis, my go-to song out of all the songs in the world was one written and performed by some of my sheroes, The Go-Go’s.

That’s how impactful their music was in my life. I was even a competitive water-skier for a few years during college, and while that was strongly influenced by my family’s Colorado River vacations, I can’t help but connect the dots to The Go-Go’s “Vacation” album cover that sat perched on my shelf during my formative years.

Looking back over my life, it has always been female-led performances that have most captivated my attention. In addition to the fabulous-five female rockers noted above, I was inspired by Pat Benatar and the Wilson sisters of Heart. I wanted to be like them. They seemed fierce and passionate, and I wanted to be that, too. Then, a few years later when I was introduced to country music, Wynonna Judd was added to my list of rad women crafting music, singing passionately, and dominating the stage.

As time evolved, when more and more female-led groups emerged and solo performers were elevated, I’d add more sheroes to my catalog of inspiring women doing what I dreamed of doing. Through them, I saw, heard, and experienced these women’s joyful freedom — something that helped inspire me to know that I, too, could make my dream of come true. I just needed to start doing it. And to be transparently honest, for many years it felt way too far out of reach for me. I was scared. I didn’t believe. But that still small voice within me would say, “you can do it” — a voice echoing through the ages, born from my female ancestors. It rose up, full of encouragement to simply step up and start.

Through experiencing the artistry of so many sensational sheroes, it’s been their example, their work, their results, their grit, and their inclusivity that inspired me to believe I could lead my own artistry onto the stage of my life. Perhaps this is true for you as well. Our sheroes who came before us blazed the way for us to have careers as artists, musicians, engineers, producers, publishers, and label owners. I loved watching the 2021 She Rocks Awards because so many of the sheroes mentioned in this article were honored for their artistry and leadership in this industry — rightfully so.

Countless women have blazed pathways for all of us in the music industry. My personal sheroes have helped me feel brave within my own being to trust that the seeds of a desire planted in an imaginative little girl would and could be cultivated over time — helping me to have the courage to emerge from deep within myself to bloom into the artistry of my own life story.

This is what so many women are doing! This is what you are doing right now through your artistry. And guess what? Young girls and your own peers are watching as you rise up in your artistry and they are being inspired by you. Yes, you! Keep going, keep creating, keep dreaming, keep expanding, and keep experiencing your own dream-blooming moments.

One thing I have come to really understand and respect about so many of the sheroes I admire most is that they all let their music lead. Their music is their story. They didn’t waste time talking about what they were going to do. No, they just did it and keep doing it. They wrote, practiced, performed, and keep reinventing themselves. They were and they are music — and we know their stories because we know their music. Our sheroes showed us the way by doing it and by being it.

While the dial continues to move closer to the center of balance in the industry, I believe the way we continue to inspire other women and young girls to enter it is to show them it is possible. We do that by doing it and being it like our sheroes did and do. You are a shero to many and you probably don’t even know it.

Keep doing what you’re doing! We need your talent, your music, your presence, and your artistry. Let your results be your resume. Let your music be your story.

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4 Jan 2021

Permission to Pause

Guitar-Girl-Magazine-Winter-2020-Kathryn-Cloward

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Winter 2020 Issue

Permission to Pause

by Kathryn Cloward

As we start journeying into this new year, we all get to choose for ourselves how we are going to create, express, and share our music with the world over another collection of days, weeks, and months.

When I got into the industry, I thought the main way for me to get my music out into the world was through live performance. It seemed to me that was the right path to follow and I started pouring a ton of my energy into gigging out at every venue I could get booked at. I remember when I started, my big goal was to play at the Belly Up in Solana Beach, Calif. It seemed so far out of reach at the time. But then when the day came that I was booked for my first headlining show at that premier hometown venue, I was beyond excited. (The photo above of me laughing is from that show.)

Over the next few years, I independently booked and energized performances at some other legendary venues, including Hollywood’s Troubador, opening for ‘80s popstar Tiffany at Whisky a Go Go, and opening for Nashville Unplugged in Las Vegas — all this for a woman who launched herself into the music industry at the age of 40.

But what became extremely apparent to me was that I was focusing way too much energy on the live show performance side of the music business, when it wasn’t netting the results and fulfillment I hoped it would. I found myself on an endless loop of rehearsals, pitching for shows, marketing shows, managing a band, stressing over whether we had enough people in the venue so we’d get booked again, figuring out what worked and didn’t work with the crowd, and then repeating this cycle month after month. I did this for a few years.

And the truth of all truths is this wasn’t good business for me. I was pouring out way too much energy and financial resources while netting nowhere near what was needed for that arm of my career to be a sustainable and viable long-term option. Artists don’t talk about this truth — the fact that we often end up paying out more to play than we take in. Often artists keep on the gigging treadmill because, well, for one thing performing is fun. But more importantly, for independent artists trying to take their careers to the next level, often there doesn’t seem to be any other way forward.

I ultimately realized all the energy I put out for stage shows wasn’t actually moving me forward. That’s the truth of what came to me when I got real with myself. I recognized what wasn’t working for me, not just on the business level of things, but also on a personal level. I knew I was out of creative integrity with myself. I wasn’t actually spending the larger chunk of my time doing what I truly loved doing. I knew I needed to make some major adjustments. And that’s what I did.

I slowed down the performance train to a stop and took a break. I let myself regroup. I gave myself permission to pause and admit what aspects of the music business were fulfilling for me and what aspects were sucking the life out me. I paid attention to where my energy naturally flowed. Soon enough, in that wide-open space of no longer focusing my energy on preparing for and energizing the next live show booking, I got back to focusing on my first love of music: songwriting. I love crafting songs. Songwriting is my passion. It’s what naturally flows through me.

Back in alignment fully with my natural introverted nature, I started picking up my guitar again in the early morning hours and was flooded with new songs. Inspiration just came to me — lyrics, chords, and melodies in harmony with my truth. I was able to get back to what nourished me again: creating and writing. I was drawn to finally doing something else I’d been yearning to do for a while and that was shift my sound and do a pop album. Why not?! I explored and discovered ways to get my music out into the world without me needing to be on stage all the time to do it — and hello, there’s a big ol’ world for that to happen.

With refreshed energy, new songs became singles and albums. I started writing and producing for other artists — which had always been a big desire of mine. I also became more purposeful with helping other independent artists navigate their careers. I figured out ways to do what I love to do and remain in full creative integrity with myself. And truly, I feel like I’ve written my best work to date. My forward feels very me! I’m experiencing personal fulfillment and I’m energizing projects I’m deeply passionate about.

I share this with you because perhaps you have found yourself on a treadmill going round and round with an aspect of your music career that isn’t working for you in the way that feels good to you. Perhaps you’re struggling with your forward at the moment and wondering how to get back to your center, back into your natural creative alignment. Perhaps what felt good in the past no longer does and it’s time to admit that to yourself and redirect your energy. Perhaps there are areas you need to energize less, so you can have space to create momentum for other aspects of your career that can produce the results you desire.

Perhaps, what’s needed at the moment is to give yourself permission to pause.

While no one else has the right answers for you, I encourage you to sit with yourself and be honest about what aspects of your career feel good and what don’t. Then, give yourself the latitude to make adjustments to everything that needs to be adjusted to move forward into 2021 and beyond on your unique musical journey with joy, integrity, abundance, and personal fulfillment. You are worth it and the world needs your truth, your gift, your talent, and your music!

And, if you’re wondering… The first single released after giving myself permission to pause was “She Roared” – an upbeat, dance-inspired song about fiercely protecting my son and honoring the roar in all women who are simply loving wholeheartedly.

I paused, and then I roared. I can’t wait to see what your pause brings forth.

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25 Oct 2020

The Power of Positive Affirmations

CLICK HERE –> Guitar Girl Magazine Fall 2020 Issue

The Power of Positive Affirmations

by Kathryn Cloward

Wow! I’m sure we all can agree that 2020 has been a year of tremendous change. What we’ve been experiencing as an industry since COVID-19 came into our lives, is just how quickly things can and do change, and how necessary it is to pivot and adapt when changes occur. With many aspects of our industry and so many others shut down completely, we’re all experiencing just how necessary it is to be resilient and resourceful.

I know over the past months, many of us are also experiencing emotional ups and downs. There’s been uncertainty, worry, doubt, and in some very real ways —fear.

While I’m definitely doing my best to focus on the positive aspects of this time and have been creating like crazy, I’ve had a lot of heavy stuff to deal with that has made me feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. COVID-19 brought to the surface some aspects of my life that needed major adjustment, and I had to establish some important self-loving boundaries. Yet, while adjustments have been necessary, they came with a lot of fire and daggers from those who’ve benefited from the way things were, i.e., my relaxed lines. And no matter how strong and self-aware any of us are, it’s never easy to be the target of someone’s negativity.

Yesterday, I had a songwriting session with an artist for her new project. During our time together, we spoke about a lot of life stuff she’s been journeying through, which includes some heartache and personal growth. We ended up writing a song that started out from feelings of uncertainty and ended up being about the feeling of possibilities created by a new beginning. Within the lyrics are quite a few positive affirmations. These helped her feel good and empowered. Her energy from when the session started completely transformed by the time we were done. She felt good and affirmed. I did, too.

I was introduced to personal affirmations about 15 years ago, but it wasn’t until I was on my own journey of transformation and true personal discovery that I started actively weaving them into my daily life. In fact, positive affirmations have had such a profoundly positive impact on my life as a grown woman, that I’ve spent the past 11 years creating a comprehensive series of Kathryn the Grape books and music for children focused on “I am” statements. But yesterday helped remind me that all of us benefit from positive affirmations. Affirmations are ageless.

The three most powerful words we say about ourselves are: I am ____________. My hope is to help people fill that blank with positivity. I have a new song coming out soon for my younger audience called “I Am That I Am,” which shares an alphabet of affirmations. I decided to create a similar list of positive affirmations for us as a helpful tool as we continue to make music and navigate through these times.

I don’t think any of us are too old or too young to say affirmations out loud to ourselves. Perhaps today you could use a loving dose of positivity by way of some simple self-loving affirmations. If these statements resonate with you, I encourage you to cut them out, tape them to the mirror in your bathroom and say them every day while you get ready for work, school or whatever else is on your agenda. Perhaps in 30 days these will become so inherent — so a part of you — that you’ll know no matter what changes are coming your way, you’re positively prepared to handle them all.

I am adaptable.

I am brave.

I am creative.

I am deserving.

I am excited.

I am friendly.

I am grateful.

I am honest.

I am important.

I am joyful.

I am kind.

I am love.

I am magical.

I am needed.

I am open.

I am peace.

I am qualified.

I am ready.

I am strong.

I am trusting.

I am unique.

I am vibrant.

I am worthy.

I am excellent.

I am youthful.

I am zestful.

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